If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one, but recognizes the constitutional right of others to own them.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed; followed by knives.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how best to defend against his enemies.
A liberal tries to talk their way out of it, or wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative practices homosexuality, he quietly leads his personal life.
If a liberal flaunts it in front of everyone while demanding legislated respect.
A conservative understands that sex is a private adult matter.
A liberal thinks young kids need to explore their sexuality.
If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation; turning to his friends and local community for temporary support.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him, and thinks he deserves a bailout from the Federal government.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his and all the other poor people who can’t or won’t pay for it.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll send the link to his friends so they can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.